Saturday, March 25, 2006
maybe all along .... it fated... and it our path of life..
i used to be so negative ... quite a realist and i talk abt money all the time..but there one thing that make me super positive.. alpha and omega.
When ppls talk abt alpha and omega..i doubt alot of human beings rily understand what it mean.. it mean. an beginning.. and a end. a end lead to another beginning .. and so on. i cant rily count how many ex gf i have.. too many.. i flirt ? yeah~ i do~ .lols. which guy dun if they can ? often.. i asked myself why i stead wif this ger or that ger.. out of fun? maybe.. but actually.. everyone.. wanna find the one who can bring them no more loneliness.. a mr or miss right . i cant find it .. lols. i find it once..but i lose it also.. until now i still feel so empty and alone. Solitude is the word. frens can make u feel not alone..but they cant bring u the happiness and the joy of love.. it wad a BF/GF can bring to u. a real BGR. but too bad.. a true love can happen only when a cactus bloom.. it happen so seldom.. sometimes i wondering..is there rily true love.. when u love someone, that person dun love u..it jus bad u know ? but same.. some one love u and u dun care. lols. having so many relationship..i kinda sick and tired of it.. i still feeling alone.. but tat alone isnt tat bad..
i wanna tell alot of ppls..commit suicide for someone..is stupid..jumping off the building dun rely on courage..but.. hopelessness. i think alot of STUPID AND RETART MORON!~ love to say idiotic stuff. i kinda annoy wif that . seriously a tight slap wun work for them since they have a ass brain.
let get to the main topic for today. begin and end.. end to begin . it a cycle..
there a few fren of mine commit suicide b4.. they always think..a end is always a end.. it kinda negative isnt it ? they forget to think abt.. another beginning.. even though..i wanna have one more UBER relationship like i have wif shiyan...she the oni ger who stop the loneliness in me and give me so much joy and fun .. ONLY GER~ haha. but she the youngest among all my ex. holy shit~ , but i cant..i jus cant find the one i can love.. how to find another begin ? lols. maybe some waiting is necessary .
what abt flirting wif ger ? that kinda wad i am gd for i think. maybe that will be the oni way i can find the ger i can love.. i am not sure..but i wanna remb the feeling of loving a ger.. i somehow forget it..
bball life? i am tired of it.. looking at those young player..some improve and some dun.. and many of my fren dun improve at all. pathetic ? lols.no~~ they are retart in sport. lols. ah black ar black.. why u cant improve ur skill de ar ?
and i was wondering..does sweet word sound so attractive to a ger.. i jus mention i miss u and call them princess and they can so happy wif tat. i cant say a serious and sincere I LOVE U till even today... well. there one ger i did . lol . sincerely saying those mushy stuff sound harder den wad i expect when i was young.
what my aim now ? i not sure.. i wrote my blog 2 yr back.. when i look at my aim at the post i wrote.. i LAUGH! lols. i rily laugh so hard..it kinda humor me. maybe now is .. i wanna get back to sch life..be a normal man.. work and eat and slp. shit? lols.
i am still learning the ways of life. the humanity side. philoshpy ? lol s. i think so. today is sat . and it morning . i will wake up at abt 2pm and head to town for sure. it been nearly a week . i wanna relax myself .. lols . i start to love this world more i think .
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bitches 6:03 AM